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It's the only thing that feels better than diving into a cool lake on a sweltering day, biting into a juicy cheeseburger when you're starving, or even getting your wallet back after losing it on vacation abroad. An orgasm is that good. Which is why it bites that it doesn't happen more often.

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But variety really is the spice of life. You wouldn't eat the same three meals every day, nor would you wear the same outfit over and over. Sherry RossMD.

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But they exist, and with a little awareness and attention, you can get the Os you deserve, from the fireworks-on-display kind to the calm oh-my-gods. When you find yourself missing out on the Big O, there are three likely culprits: expectations, communication, and method. And alongside all of that, experimenting is required.

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By now, you've probably heard about the ways the deck is stacked against women when it comes to orgasming. It can be more complicated for a woman to figure out what works for her compared to the tragically simple "up-down" motion on a penis that seems to do the trick every timeand women just aren't having as many orgasms as men in general. But for all the drawbacks there's one huge upside: the ability to have multiple orgasms in a short window of time.

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Here's how to inoculate ourselves against negative ones. Verified by Psychology Today. I think women should demand that.

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But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapistto help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions will remain anonymous.

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Ladies, this is a big weekend for us. And no, sorry, I'm not talking about Valentine's Day. I'm not here to talk romance.

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If you're a woman who finds climaxing easy and can have orgasms during intercourse with little effort — even in a position where it's difficult for your partner to access the clitoris with the fingertips — then you are very lucky indeed! For the majority of us, 'ringing that bell' is not nearly so simple. Even women who can masturbate to a climax with no difficulty can feel quite anxious about 'coming' with a male partner.

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Skip navigation! Sex is one of the basic pleasures of life, but the orgasm is anything but simple — especially for people with vaginas. The complexity begins with your anatomy.

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Skip navigation! Story from Sex. An orgasm can be quite a shock to the system, particularly if you didn't know your body was capable of having one. At first, orgasms can be surprising, accidental, or even scary or a combination of those feelings.

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